A Strange Adventure 3:Rainbow Dash Does Fanfiction
by NocturneD
Summary: Dash is upset that she finished the last of the Daring Do book series and there is no more. She discovers fanfiction and writes her own Daring Do adventure staring her and her friends.Problem is, she's obsessed with getting reviews! language/crude humor
1. Chapter 1

**A Strange Adventure 3: Rainbow Dash Does Fanfiction**

**By NocturneD**

Note: title is self explanatory.  
>-<p>

**Chapter 1**

It was another craptastic day in the shit hole known as Ponyville. No really it's a festering shit hole because the Mayor was extorting money to support her drug habit. But back to the story. Rainbow Dash was on her way to her friend Twilight Sparkle's house. Or tree whatever the hell you want to call it. She just finally finished reading the last book Twilight gave her and hoped there were more.

Dash knocked on the library door. Since the pegasus was so impatient, she kicked down the door instead and wandered in. Twilight was in the center room looking at the mess Rainbow Dash made, "Rainbow Dash seriously did you have to break down my door?"

"Yes." Dash smirked, "I'm finished with this one. Is there another one after it?"

Twilight used her magic to take the book from Dash and looked at it, "Oh. Sorry Dash looks like you read the entire series because this is the last book."

Dash was pissed, "Fuck you say bitch?"

Twilight rolled her eyes, "I said you read all of them."

"Oh great! Now what am I going to look forward to?" Dash over reacted.

"Rainbow Dash you're in a library. I'll help you find another series to read." Twilight assured her friend. "Since you like action and adventure we'll try to find a book that has a similar feel."

Dash was still mad, "Better be."

Twilight wandered over to the adventure section and scanned the shelf, "Let's see... Let's see..."

Dash turned her head to find a computer at the front desk. The pegasus sat down in front of it and started playing DOOM. Dash knew Twilight didn't like games on her computer but Spike has a way of sneaking them on without her knowing. The pegasus looked back at the purple unicorn trying to climb up a ladder to look for more books.

"Jeez Twilight has a big ass." Dash frowned then went back to playing the game, "Oh I got the shotgun!"

About twenty minutes later and getting to spider master mind. Twilight finally found another book Dash might be interested in, "Here you go Dash. The Giver." She saw Dash playing a violent game. "Dash. Why are you playing that on my computer?"

"Oh... well you were taking a good while I figured I play." Dash pressed the fire button to kill another pinky demon.

Twilight narrowed her eyes, "Dash I got rules in this library. No video games on the computer!"

"Fine I'll go..." Dash grabbed the book Twilight picked out for her and left.

The next day...

There was a knock at the library door. Twilight answered it to find a very pissed off Rainbow Dash holding the book she borrowed the previous day. "Oh hello Rainbow Dash. You look... are you alright?"

"What... the... fuck... is... this... garbage?" Dash growled.

"What? The Giver? It's a very well written book." Twilight smiled.

"I read every last word of this garbage!" Dash growled more, "And because of this piece of shit... I'M NEVER READING AGAIN!" She threw the book on the ground never wanting anything to do with it.

"Dash you can't throw a book onto the ground like that." Twilight scolded.

"That isn't a book! It's a piece of shit that belongs on the ground!" Dash shot back.

"Alright alright!" Twilight tried to ease the situation, "I'll get you another book."

"Uh. I'm done reading Twilight." Dash frowned.

"Come on I made a mistake." Twilight apologized, "Reading can be a great thing. It's like a movie in your head and and you can cast anyone you want."

"I did. No pony was faggy enough to play that fag Jonas." Dash frowned.

Twilight was disappointed, "I thought it was an alright book. Had it's moments. Oh alright I'll get you another book."

"Fine. This time, get me one with pirates or ninjas in them." Dash fumed. Twilight lead her into the library. Dash sat in front of the computer again waiting. She tried to open up DOOM but it was blocked. The pegasus wanted to lift the monitor and throw it across the room. But then she noticed a tab on the lower part of the screen. She clicked on it and a word document came up, "What's this?" She asked herself. She read the first few paragraphs. "Looks like Twilight is working on a book herself." Then she noticed something, these were familiar characters from a book she mentioned.

"I got you a pirate book Dash." Twilight came up behind Dash then dropped the book as she gasped. "DASH WHAT THE?"

"What? I was just reading this." Dash raised an eyebrow.

Twilight jumped in front of the screen, "That's something personal!"

"You're writing a story aren't you?" Dash asked, "I liked it."

Twilight was embarrassed, "Fine... if you must know it's a fan fic I'm working on featuring Star Swirl the bearded."

"I thought you said he was real." Dash brought up, "Why is he in a story you're writing?"

"It's complicated." Twilight eased up, "Fan fiction is taking a franchise that exists and making a story for it. For example, you like Daring Do and want to further her adventures."

This caught Dash's attention, "I can write what I want?"

"Well... yeah pretty much." Twilight frowned, "If you want to keep true to the original style I bet you can write a great Daring Do fanfiction."

"I R CAN?" Dash put on derpy eyes. Then went back to normal, "Um. How does it get noticed if you're doing it?"

"Oh there's a website for that. Many actually. I would like to recommend a few." Twilight explained the whole kitten caboodle while Dash masturbated to porn. What writing document to use, how to write a story, how to check for mistakes, how to upload. "There is a thing called a review Rainbow Dash where readers from all over the world can see your work and tell you what they think. They can offer tips and give you praise or criticism on how to improve."

"Reviews?" Dash asked.

"Yeah. But lately the whole review thing is like HoofBook where people want so many friends just for self satisfaction. Reviews aren't always everything but your story is what matters the most when you find your hits." Twilight explained, "Just because there isn't many re..."

"Yeah yeah get many reviews I got it." Dash ignored her.

"Dash it's more about..." Twilight tried to explain.

"Nope I got it. Write something good and get a billion reviews!" Dash raced off to go back home and fire up her computer.

"But you forgot your new book!" Twilight called out the door.

Dash came back and grabbed the book. She put on a sly smile, "Oh by the way. I got to the part where you Star Swirl meets Twinkle Sparkle. I won't tell anyone you wrote a lemon about you and Star Swirl." Dash bolted into the sky laughing. Twilight was blushing mad.

"How'd she know?" Twilight slammed the door and made sure to put a password lock on her files.

**ooo**

Dash was at her home in Cloudsdale. Wherever the fuck that is. Dash watched more porn then was dried out. She opened up her word document and put in a title. "The Misadventures of Daring Do!... By Rainbow Dash." She paused. Then got stuck. "The fuck am I going to write about?" She pondered about the countless possibilities what she could write about Daring Do could do. She could make her go fight a horde of zombies in Africa. Or she could make Daring Do discover the lost city of Atlantis. Problem was Dash thought, "Some of this stuff was probably already thought of. I got to come up with something better."

Then the idea hit her. She loved Daring Do series so much, why not insert herself into the story by being her side kick? "YEAH THAT'S AWESOME!" Then she stopped, "But still don't have a story." She slammed her head into the keyboard over and over again. She stopped suddenly to look up at the sky eye view of Ponyville, "Wait... Daring Do can come to Ponyville to..." She looked around her room, it was very plain. "Ah Celestia damn it!" She scratched her chin, "I'll just fill in the blanks as I go along. Just type the first chapter and see where it takes me."

Rainbow Dash started to type.

**ooo**

Daring Do let out a huge yawn as her arms reached far into the sky. It was morning already. Apparently her stage coach driver kept his focus on the road and didn't want to wake her up.

"Ah... good morning young Daring Do." The coach driver laughed. Pots and pans clanged as each bump they made. "You're heading to Ponyville right?"

Daring Do gave a half smile, "That's right. The mayor wanted me to look into something about some sort of relic her town ponies found."

"Well they called the right pony for the job." The coach driver let out a chuckle then took a swig of whiskey from his flask. He offered Daring a sip. She politely waved it off. "Yah young ponies shouldn't drink anyway." The old coach driver put his flask away and kept his eyes on the road. "Ponyville ain't too far. Got some real interesting ponies there."

Daring Do stood up seeing the shadow of the town with Celestia's sun rising in the background. She knew, she was in for another adventure.

**ooo**

Dash was having fun with the story already as her document said she had over twenty pages of written material, "Wow. I got this far!" She squealed in delight. She looked at her clock to find it was already the wee hours of the morning. Her eyes widened, "Oh Celestia I stayed up too late writing this thing!" She was about to jump out of her seat then stopped herself. "Wonder if I can just upload this thing now and start on chapter two tomorrow?" And so she did. She cut a few parts out and redirect some of it as a way of starting chapter two easier. It was late at night, she didn't have time to check for errors. It was good enough. She uploaded it onto PonyFiction dot net making sure the labels were right and called it a night.

"Oh boy." Dash lied down in her bed, "I bet when I open my mail box tomorrow I'll get a thousand reviews saying how awesome my story is!" She squealed and closed her eyes. Drifting off to sleep... And dreaming about Cheerilee having Tourettes. Dash kept snickering in her sleep.

**to be continued...**

Note: Will Dash get noticed with her fanfic? Will she get any reviews? Will this story get any reviews? Probably not...Yeah pretty much this story is making fun of the idea of fan fiction. Dash liking the Daring Do series so much she makes a self insert story of her and her friends meeting Daring Do then go on a crazy adventure.


	2. Chapter 2

**A Strange Adventure 3: Rainbow Dash Does Fanfiction**

**By NocturneD**

Note: Yadda yadda yadda.  
>-<p>

**Chapter 2**

The next day Rainbow Dash easily slept in from her late night writing. She was so absorbed into her new project that she lost track of time. Her sheets wrinkled, crumpled along with being all over. She wanted this to last forever, she enjoyed sleeping in. One eye slowly popped open to find her alarm clock glowing large red numbers, "1:37..." She mumbled to herself. She slowly closed her eye and went back to sleep.

Then suddenly realization kicked in. She threw the covers away from herself and shouted, "1:37 PM?" She never slept that long. Her friends were probably looking for her let alone the weather team was probably trying to contact her for a sudden weather change. She looked at her calender that hung on the wall, and found out, "Oh... it's Saturday." She sighed in relief. "But still the girls might be wondering where I am."

She made her bed and threw the covers on in a half assed fashion. Her room, her rules. Again realization kicked in, "Wait... TIME TO CHECK MY EMAIL!" She squealed and ran to her computer. "Come on come on." She grunted at the machine wanting it to go faster. Rainbow Dash put her login, password and waited a few more minutes to boot to her main menu. Again she wanted to rip the computer apart for being so slow. It finished loading and she wasted no time logging into her email. "Oh boy oh boy oh boy!"

She bounced up and down in her chair waiting for her many reviews to congratulate on her story. Her wide smile then turned to a frown, then saddened by disappointment. "Only two?" She scrolled through her mailbox and played around with the settings to see if there were anymore review alerts. There wasn't. Just that a few random fellow writers marked the story as their favorite or on author alert. Rainbow Dash's bottom lip was trembling, "But I worked all night on the first chapter." This wasn't acceptable to her. "No, there has to be a reasonable explanation!" She logged onto and looked up her information. "Let's see... five hundred and twenty two hits. And only two reviews to show for it? Three favorites and an author alert?"

She stared blankly at the screen. What would seem like minutes were really seconds.

She reached for the nearest object to find it was her trash bin. She picked it up and fiercely threw it across the room and shouted, "SON OF A BITCH!"

Dash wanted to turn something else over in her room but couldn't find anything because there was barely anything in it. She picked up the trash can again and hurled it on the other side of the room. Papers fell out along with a soda can.

She stopped and looked back at the monitor. Sat back down and tried to run all the possibilities in her head. "Maybe every pony is out having fun today? It is Saturday." She clicked on the literature section and then Daring Do. She put on, "Yes I want stories of all ratings." She clicked the filter button to refresh the page. Twenty five stories popped up, "Okay." She scrolled down, "My story isn't there?" She clicked on the next page for twenty five more stories, "Not here again?" She scrolled further down, "WAIT!" She looked closer. "Oh well no reason. My story is number forty two." Her hoof slammed down onto the table. "DAMN IT! MY STORY NEEDS THE ATTENTION! IT'S ALMOST ON THE THIRD PAGE!"

Her head slumped down in disappointment. "Well.. might as well check the reviews I got. Better than nothing I suppose." She moved the mouse to read her reviews.

_-Iron Maxamillion (anonymous) _

_An interesting read. Not too many ponies on this site like stories about self-insert ponies but I'm sure you can pull this off. My advice though, invest in a beta-reader. I found a lot of grammar errors and misspelled words. Look forward to reading more._

Rainbow Dash had to admit it wasn't what she was looking for but she'll take it. "Not bad, not bad. Though how dare he says my grammar sucks. Next one."

_-RoseyPosey11_

_Twilight Sparkle smells like a Mare-e Sue to me. Plus she comes off as a know it all._

Rainbow Dash fell backwards laughing at the comment. She wiped the joyous tears from her eyes and logged off. "Well it's still pretty much early afternoon. Maybe more ponies will read it."

She left her house to enjoy the rest of her day. Still the idea of getting many reviews, hits and favorites clouded her judgment. She needed to get something to eat. She missed breakfast and barely scrapped past lunch. Three if you count brunch but really who eats that every time? Dash bought like eleven double cheese burgers and ate them all in ten seconds flat. She made a pig out of herself but who cares.

"Maybe I should ask Twilight to read my story?" Dash pondered as she swallowed her last burger. She left all the burger wrappers all over the table like an animal and left for some poor employee to clean up after her.

Dash flew to the library and kicked down the door again. Twilight wasn't happy. "Hey Twilight!"

"Well Dash that's the second time you broke my door." Twilight fumed, "This better be important."

"I wrote a story last night!" Dash smiled.

Within an instant Twilight's expression turned from pissed to curious. "A story you say?"

"Yeah. I flew home last night and started on it." Dash smiled proudly, "I worked so hard on that I lost track of time."

Twilight smiled, "Wow Rainbow. So what's it about?"

"Daring Do and her quest to find the Elements of Harmony." Dash smiled sheepishly.

This caught Twilight's attention easily, "So your own take on the Elements of Harmony? Sounds intriguing." She sat down, "So how much of it is done?"

"I already uploaded chapter one on Ponyfiction." Dash as expected acted like hot shit.

"So how many hits and reviews did you get?" Twilight felt happy for her friend.

This made Rainbow stop her self parade. Dash rubbed her hoof into the ground, "Five hundred hits... but only two reviews."

"Well that's not bad. It's a start." Twilight smiled. "Think I can read it sometime?"

Dash sneered, "Could you give it a review in the end?"

"Do you want constructive criticism?" Twilight laughed.

"If it counts as raising my review counter up then fuck yeah!" Dash cheered.

"Okay but don't say I didn't warn you." Twilight chuckled. Dash gave Twilight the name of the story and all that other hooey. Dash helped herself to finding a book in the library and started reading it while Twilight enjoyed the story Dash wrote.

Two hours must of passed by. Dash was halfway done with the book she started with. She wondered, "Wonder what's taking Twilight so long? My story is twenty pages sure but taking two hours to read it?" She turned her attention back to the book, "Oh well... she must be absorbed into my awesome story."

Twenty minutes later...

Twilight shut off her computer and smiled, "Well Dash. I read your story, added it to my favorites and left a review."

"Thanks Twilight." Dash put her book down. "So what do you think?"

"It's all in my review Rainbow. You'll learn once you read it." Twilight laughed playfully. "But in a nutshell, I'm honored to be part of it."

"ONTO CHAPTER TWO THEN!" Dash jumped and crashed through the ceiling then through the roof to fly to her own house.

"Damn it Rainbow!" Twilight shouted. "Now there's a big damn hole in my roof."

"There's also a big damn hole in your ass!" Dash shouted back, "ZING!"

Twilight looked at her own flank then realized, "Oh I see what you did there..."

Rainbow raced home and ran into her room. She logged back into her mail account to find a few more emails from Ponyfiction. "Wow let's see... eight more favorites? WOW!" Dash gasped, "Four author alerts, six story alerts..." Dash scrolled further down, "TWO MORE REVIEWS?" She squealed, "AWESOME!"

She opened the first review and no surprise it's from Twilight. At first she wondered about the pen name her unicorn friend has chosen but shrugged it off.

_-Starswirl 3:16_

_To my good friend WonderBoltFan1. I took my time reading your story and loved the idea of what your story is trying to propose. I will offer my help for this story to shape itself better for future chapters if you want. But if not, I understand and see that there others that agree with the problems that this story has. Yes I know you don't like other ponies pecking at your weaknesses but please take the help into consideration. You said you didn't mind the criticism so here it goes... Grammar, run on sentences, past to present tense back to past tense. Comma places where they shouldn't be. Punctuation. I'm sure you know when to start a new paragraph as a new pony speaks as there are some paragraphs that go on and on and seem to get clumped together._

_etc... _

__"Blah blah blah." Dash said to herself. Rainbow Dash read on and on, "Jeez Twilight your review is as long as my first chapter!" But she had to admit it. Twilight knew way more about writing books because she basically read them twenty four seven. Still, Dash wanted to press on. "Next review." The next reviewer went by as The Great Shinigami.

_-The Great Shinigami_

_Your story sucks lol!_

Dash was pissed, "FUCK YOU SHINIGAMI!"

Dash was going to prove Shinigami wrong. She was going to write chapter two right this instant. "Chapter two! The town in need."

**ooo**

Daring Do was a pony of mystery. Wherever she went she never really talked about herself. She kept to herself and kept to her career at being an archaeologist. That is what mattered to her. She already met with the mayor of Ponyville and as usual Daring Do never cared for politics. Always got in the way in her life.

Out of the three pony residents she met so far. Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Twilight Sparkle. She found Pinkie Pie to be in your face every chance she gets. Not in a rude way, more of a I Want To Be Your Friend SO LET US PARTY sort of way. It didn't take long to make Daring Do uncomfortable with Pinkie throwing streamers and blowing on party horns to announce a new pony has arrived to the small town of Ponyville. Every pony seemed friendly by just looking around.

But there was more to it. Twilight Sparkle was a purple unicorn and the star student of princess Celestia. "Strange." Daring Do thought. Why would a student of the princess be in Ponyville when Canterlot was the obvious place to be to learn her magic lessons. Out of all the ponies she met, Twilight Sparkle would be a valuable asset for the upcoming job. Her book smarts, her unique magic, her will, her pep. Daring Do found her a bit charming too. But she knew that this unicorn had sheltered life.

Rainbow Dash on the other hoof was a wild pegasus. She wanted fun and basically could could pull off being Daring Do's double despite the colors. Almost like looking into a mirror, or finding your long lost twin. It sure was awkward. Dash heard about Daring Do's work and wanted to be more like her. Almost like a kid idolizing their hero from afar but once up close end up making a fool of themselves. Not Dash, she kept it cool.

Unfortunately not all the ponies that were assigned to the team were there. Some were running late. Fashionably late. The mayor bought eight tickets to Canterlot to meet with Princess Celestia; the ruler of Equestria. Daring Do really hated waiting. Somehow she knew if she lit up a cigarette at this moment it would break the tension. Either lookie loos or get scolded by Pinkie Pie that smoking was bad for her lungs. She didn't care, the wait was killing her.

"So what does the princess want with me?" Daring Do nudged the pack of cigarettes from her breast pocket and tapped a single cig free. Her lips grasped the filter end while her free hoof searched for her lucky lighter.

"Well it concerns the three here along with their friends by request from the princess. She couldn't spare any carriages because of an emergency. As far as rumors are going." The mayor did her best to explain the situation. Daring Do saw that her eyes were of a terrible liar. Politicians. Figures.

"Mayor is there something you're not telling me?" Daring Do slipped her silver lighter from her other pocket and clicked it to reveal a flame.

"Like I said just rumors floating around. That's all I know." The mayor tried to brush off the conversation. She waved the cigarette smoke away from her proximity.

**ooo**

Rainbow Dash let the story flow their her hooves as she typed and typed and typed. Playing too many Metal Gear Solid games and reading Tom Clancy novels can do that to you. She stopped and saved her progress. Last thing she wanted to do was have a power failure and lose all her work. She counted. "Wow. seventeen pages right off the bat." Then she wondered, "Should I invest in a beta reader?" She looked at the clock and gasped, "11: 43 PM?" She did it again, she missed dinner entirely and most of the day for making a story. Then her eyes narrowed, "Wow... this is very time consuming."

Realization kicked in again.

She gasped, "Anymore reviews?"

She clicked on her mailbox. Nothing... She frowned.

"Son of a bitch..." She slammed her hoof onto the table slowly.

She puckered her lower lip. "Wait... did I type that Twilight was charming?"

**to be continued...**

Note: Apparently Rainbow Dash isn't getting the concept that reviews doesn't equal greatness. Some writers are like that on here as most writers deserve the recognition while others just want the attention and feel accepted. The way others... Just think getting more reviews will think that more people will come in to see what's so great about the story. So Rainbow, is pretty immature right now on the whole writing thing. Anyone else notice that the story she's writing is more serious than what I'm writing about what she's doing? Fic ception! Thanks for the reviews guys.


	3. Chapter 3

**A Strange Adventure 3: Rainbow Dash Does Fanfiction**

**By NocturneD**

Note: Ponymania!  
>-<p>

**Chapter 3**

Rainbow Dash put the finishing touches on the second chapter of her story. She put more effort into the emotion as well as the dialogue this time around as suggested by Twilight. Despite only getting four reviews, two were only helpful. Dash must have read over her story about two times and didn't really catch anything out of the ordinary except for crunched words and some misspellings.

Dash tapped on her keyboard again and again while her face was practically glued to the screen. "I really can't see anything else that could be a problem." She looked at the timer on the right bottom half of her screen as it read two twenty one. Really she had to get her sleep. She didn't want to wake up late again. It was now or never. She logged into Ponyfiction and prepared the uploading process for her story to be posted. "Password in. Now to..." A new screen popped up. She was frowning at its inconvenience. "Are you fucking serious?"

_**"Ponyfiction is down for maintenence." **_

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Dash shouted as she slammed her hooves onto the table. "Maintenance?"

At the worst possible time when everything was finally finished. The site couldn't process her story that night. Dash could kick and scream all she wanted but it wouldn't make the site come back any faster than it did. She hung her head in defeat then made sure she saved her work and turned off her system. The pegasus ripped the covers from her bed then lied down throwing them back on over herself.

She mumbled, "What a load of horse shit..." The pegasus then closed her sleepy eyes and went off to dream land.

The next morning. Celestia's sun has risen to greet the day but Rainbow Dash was still sleeping during its peek hours. She didn't care, she wanted sleep. She didn't fully wake up until after eleven. For some reason her head ached. Her head pounded. She grunted as she used both her hooves to rub her forehead hoping it would calm the pain down. It didn't. The pegasus let out a moan as she trotted slowly to her medicine cabinet in the bathroom looking for the asprin. She found the bottle then closed the mirror to show her relection.

Her eyes were only half open. It hurt to even look straight. She swallowed too pills then drank a full glass of water. Still the pain stayed. She filled her glass again and walked back to her bed. Luckily today was Sunday. Work didn't start until Monday.

She groaned while throwing the covers back on. Matter of fact her stomach wasn't feeling great either. She moaned, "Too much... McHooves."

Was it really worth eating eleven double cheese burgers Rainbow Dash?

"Shut up..." She muttered and turned over to face her TV. "Maybe a little TV will sooth me." Her hoof pressed up against the end table searching for the remote. Again and again she banged on it until she found it. The TV flipped onto a random channel, Dash kept pressing the buttons until something interesting came on. Until she settled on a show about finding bigfoot.

"Welcome to the fifth season of finding Big foot. We're on the trail in the wooded area of the Everfree forest and..." The host explained.

Dash mumbled, "How does something like this go on for five seasons?"

The pegasus closed her eyes again. Dreaming of where her story could take her next.

**ooo**

Daring Do hated coach. Anything was fine but seating in coach. Mayor Mare gave them tickets for the train sure but the cheap politician didn't want to spring ten or more bits. This is the fate of Equestria we're talking about here.

The dark haired pegasus felt a bad kink in her neck from sitting on the hard wooden seat alone. She looked at her watch. The timing was not good. Rainbow Dash's friends took their sweet time getting to the train station. Already two hours late. Then again. Daring Do showed up whenever she wanted at meetings. Not that she wasn't organized but she lived the way she wanted to.

Sitting across from her was the fashion queen; Miss Rarity. A white unicorn with a luscious purple curly mane and tail. Wearing something rather not very attire to what the mission might call for. Posh posh sat there in her white frilly dress that complimented her white coat. Decorated with tiny gems. Daring Do couldn't tell if she nabbed it off of a queen but didn't care. Rarity was talking Do's ear off about her visits to high class parties. How she was the bell of the ball with her custom made dresses. She could have any stallion she wanted by the looks of it.

"Really?" Daring Do thought to herself as she nudged her hat to cover her face. "Of all the cabins I get stuck with the posh?"

"Mind if I ask miss Daring Do?" Rarity smiled.

Daring Do grunted.

"What do you do for a living?" Rarity asked.

"I'm an archaeologist. Nothing special." Daring do lifted her hat to speak then lowered it again.

Rarity put her hoof to her chest, slightly quizzical, "My. You must be some archaeologist then if the princess requested your services."

Daring Do didn't answer. All she wanted to do was kick her feet up and try to make the best of it.

Rarity wasn't getting much excitement out of the mare across from her. Her eyes set outside the window watching the scenery pass by. The green forested mountains in the distance. The blue dimming skies. Almost like it was out of a famous pony's painting. And Daring Do was missing it. But not like she hasn't before. She seen them countless times. Always was a treat after each expedition.

*BANG*

A gunshot rang out. Ponies were screaming in panic. Rarity held her chest almost falling sideways into her seat. Daring Do lifted her hat and frowned, "Take the train they said..."

"NO PONY MOVE! THIS IS A ROBBERY!" Shouted a very masculine voice.

"NO FUNNY BUSINESS!" Another voice screamed, this one sounded like it belonged to a smaller pony.

"What are we going to do Daring Do?" Rarity pleaded, her chest heaving up and down.

Daring Do knew the whole routine of train heists. The fancier the train the more time the hostages were going to stay and more of their valuables stolen. "Well Rarity. Looks like your crap is gonna get nabbed."

"This isn't funny!" Rarity clutched her red ruby heart gem around her neck.

"I don't give a flying horses' ass right now." Daring Do took out her forty five caliber handgun from her holster inside her jacket. "Just do what they say and you won't get hurt."

"What? Why?" Rarity shouted.

"I'm going to get to the front of the train and from using the window here." Daring Do pointed, "I just might be able to scope out what's going on."

"NO! MAKE LOVE TO ME PLEASE BEFORE YOU GO!" Rarity pleaded as she ripped open her shirt to show her lacy bra supporting her huge breasts.

"And me too!" Twilight Sparkle opened the door to rip off her clothes to also show her amazing sexy figure.

"And me as well!" Fluttershy demanded.

Just then a pony version Hulk Hogan jumped in front of the bad guys and ripped off his shirt, "WHATCHA GONNA DO BROTHER! WHEN PONYMANIA GOES WILD ON YOU!" Hulk Hogan kicked one bad guy in the face then scared the other one away.

Big Foot came in smoking pot and loving it.

Daring Do smiled while raising her chainsaw hand. "Hail to the king baby."

Cheerilee stuck her head out the train door and shouted, "WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT BIGFOOT?"

**ooo**

And that's when Dash woke up.

"What the hell did I just dream about?" Dash rubbed her forehead. She looked over at her clock to see that it was close to three o'clock in the afternoon. She decided that was enough sleep for one day. Checking her email wouldn't hurt and she did. Turning on the computer again then logging into her email. "Oh something from Ponyfiction." She clicked on it then frowned, "Just another story alert."

She uploaded chapter two and called it a day with her writing. This way she'll have all day for the reviews to come in. She didn't bother turning off her TV while checking out the other Daring Do stories. Some instantly got her attention as she read trough them. "Wow. This one is really cool." She favorite the stories she liked and wanted to read more about. She looked up at the review counter and found out that the story had over fifty reviews. "Wow fifty. Hope I get that far up." She clicked and clicked. She found another interesting story that had twelve long chapters but only one review. In a way, she felt sorry and decided to review the first chapter after she read it.

Dash left; Keep on trucking man. I like your story.

Wasn't much of a review but more of a shout out. Hoping in a way to establish a connection between her and the author. She scrolled down further. "This other story needs original characters." She looked at the reviews and found a large amount, "WOW. Sixty reviews. But mostly of people submitting characters." She looked at the publishing date, "That's two years ago." Then she looked at the update, "Hasn't been updated in over two years."

Dash knew the idea of bait and switch. An author comes up with a story that needs original characters then asks others for them just to get their review counter up. She hated the idea already as she looked through the reviews of characters. "This one is too Maree Sue. And atleast five guy OC's want Daring Do's heart. Eight other characters are related to her. Another is her long lost sister. What the hell these characters suck."

Then it hit Dash, "What the hell was that dream about again? I remember Rarity showing me her boobs... I MEAN DARING DO!" She blushed. "Then Twilight came in. Then Fluttershy did as well wanted to be part of the sexy circle..."

Dash fell silent for a moment.

"Well time to look up some porn!" She shouted.

**To be continued...**

Note: Yeah happens to me at times. Site goes down when I finally finish my chapter. Don't worry, that train scene isn't part of Dash's story. Or atleast some of it until it got up to Rarity throwing herself at Daring Do.


	4. Chapter 4

**A Strange Adventure 3: Rainbow Dash Does Fanfiction**

**By NocturneD**

Note: Warning. Unexpected ending ahoy. FIC CEPTION!  
>-<p>

**Chapter 4**

Rainbow Dash couldn't access her internet because some stupid ass pony who will not be named... Derpy... Whoops. She smashed the cable box that provides internet to the whole town of Ponyville that also shares with Cloudsdale. Where ever Dash freaking livings. It was like that all week because the workers didn't want to bother doing it right away and made up some fake holiday to put it off even further.

Dash had no choice but to do her job like normal that entire week. Pushing clouds and other clouds into random directions. Still she had access to her computer to write more chapters but she really wanted to see if she got anymore reviews. She already had two chapters up. She decided to leave work early since all she freaking did was move a stupid cloud here and there, honestly who gives a shit?

Dash decided to go see Twilight but she didn't because she was a loser. Along the way she punched Scootaloo in the face for no rhyme or reason. She hit Scootaloo so hard she hit her head on a fire hydrant only to crack her head open and brains to pour out onto the street. Dash felt proud of herself so she went to go celebrate by taking a piss on the front door of the Sugar Cube Corner. Pinkie Pie opened the door to only get splashed in the face by Dash's piss stream.

"Hi Rainbow Dash!" Pinkie smiled as the stream of pee started to unfurl her curly hair. "Why are you peeing on my door?"

"It's national piss on your friend's door day!" Dash was obviously drunk at this point.

Pinkie gasped, "It's a holiday? DO WE GET PRESENTS?"

"Yes. You get your door pissed on if I like you." Dash laughed.

Pinkie's head exploded for no reason. Instead of blood it was party streamers.

"This sucks." Dash continued to piss. "AH!" She pissed in her own eye.

Dash then decided to go visit Rarity. She knocked on Rarity's door. Rarity answered it as Spike was kissing her ass. Literally.

"Rainbow Dash what do I owe this surprise visit? OH!" Rarity squealed as Spike french kissed her ass.

Rainbow Dash took out a shotgun and blew Rarity's head clean off. Spike continued to kiss the wrong end. Sweetie Belle was too busy being annoying by going through her sister's stuff. "Hey Sweetie Belle!"

"Yes Rainbow Dash?" Sweetie Belle called.

"Take care of this egg will you?" Dash tossed Sweetie Bell a grenade without the pin. "It's special."

Sweetie Belle gasped as her eyes glistened, "A special egg? What's inside?"

Dash sneered, "You'll find out." Then she flew out the door. Behind her Rarity's store exploded.

Next was to see Apple Jack. Dash stole an ice cream truck and crashed it into the barn causing it to explode. Dash jumped out before it did. Now every pony in the Apple family are dead.

Dash then went to see Fluttershy. But in truth, she gave the yellow pony a choice. Be her wife or die. Fluttershy wasn't stupid. She always loved Dash and decided to do so. Unfortunately lesbian marriages weren't legal so they got married on the moon. That way they avoid a loophole. So now, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy continued the rampage across Ponyville. They sought out Twilight who was too busy reading Danielle Steele books which were awful. Fluttershy threw a grenade in there and blew up the library.

All was good. Celestia saw that Dash was causing so much mayhem. Celestia got made and teleported to Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. "RAINBOW DASH! I COMMAND YOU TO STOP!"

"No! Go the hell away!" Dash pointed.

"Okay." Celestia shrugged her shoulders then exploded.

Luna teleported to Rainbow Dash, "RAINBOW DASH! I COMMAND YOU TO MARRY ME!"

Dash blinked, "I'm already married to Fluttershy."

"Shit." Luna cursed then also exploded for no reason.

Just then BonBon shouted out the window, "INTERNET IS BACK!"

Rainbow Dash smiled and flew home to check her email. She opened it up to find out. She got no reviews in about a week. Not even for her latest chapter. She was mad. Then she cried. "I'm never going to write ever again!"

Fluttershy held Dash, "There there. It's okay. You don't have to write anymore if you don't want."

Then Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash kissed. The song Come To My Window by Melissa Etheridge starts playing in the background.

**ooo**

Daring Do looked at her computer screen looking over what she had written. "What the hell was I on when I wrote this?" She rubbed her forehead. "Oh well. A fanfiction within a fanfiction within a fanfiction shouldn't be that bad. I do like Friendship is Magic. But I sure like making them do crude things."

Daring Do minimized her writing document screen to watch the latest episode of Friendship Is Magic on Pony tube. She smiled while uploading her story. "Oh that Rainbow Dash. What crazy shenanigans will you get into next?" She brought a soda can with a straw to her lips then sipped.

The upload was complete.

**The end...**

_Dear Readers,_

_What I learned in over the ten years of having this account is that writing can lead to many possibilities. Sure everyone is different and their writing style is different. Some are more in depth than others. During my early years I wanted recognition when I wrote stories for Digimon, Arthur, Naruto and other things I liked during my childhood. Sometimes I got it, sometimes I didn't. The passion in writing seems to either dwindle or strengthen within the years._

_At first. I thought having many reviews is what got your story noticed. Only thing was, you had to earn those reviews that people would like to comment on your work. It's not anyones fault if they don't. Readers have the right to read whatever they want without leaving a trace. Though the website updated over the years, my desire to have recognition didn't. I wanted to write something that would grab the viewers attention. At times I did and I should of been proud of what I had._

_I written over twenty stories and only three or four times they reached the one hundred review mark. I felt like I could take on the world. Only problem I was only entertaining those people who would stop by and read my story. I went on hiatuses a few times during my ten year run to give writing a rest. But it always keeps pulling me back in in one way or another. I sometimes feel jealous of stories that get many reviews for only so few chapters but what I really should have been looking at is how they were able to attract such a crowd and learn for myself. Everyone here deserves to have their stories looked at. Most people earn their reviews while others just bait and switch hoping to just get a higher count._

_Wanting reviews is one thing. That it's the today's getting many friends on Facebook. The higher the number, the more ego you develop. Sure having over two hundred friends are nice but do you seriously talk to them every night? Same with the reviews. Sure they are good to look at and make you feel good inside if the message is just saying your story rocks. No, reviews are for positive or negative feedback to help your story progress in better shape._

_You can work as hard as you want on your story. It can be twenty to forty pages and sometimes you'll end up only getting two reviews. Heart breaking? By the sounds of it yes. But really, that's two people who came forward to drop you a line. Favorites and story alerts are people telling you that they want to see more of your story in the future. When looking in your email box, are you desperate to find a review alert? I know I was back then. Still a bit today but learned that you can't please everyone. While other stories that took five to ten minutes to put together somehow end up getting twenty reviews. Those stories I have no clue on how they get popular. Original character stories aren't bad. But if your story relies on requesting other people's original characters, then you better be prepared to work hard on pleasing them. Nothing is worse than having a story with everyone's characters then somehow the author ends up quitting leaving the story hanging._

_So in retrospect. Stories are stories. Everyone wants to tell their own story whether it is from their favorite show, game, book. Or even their own original piece. You don't need ten, twenty, fifty, one hundred, five hundred, or even a thousand reviews to know your own story is good. The important part is that you cherish writing and want to share a story. Everyone keep up the good work. And thank you for putting up with me with my crazy stories._

_Sincerely,_

_NocturneD_

note: yeah I had no idea how to end this story. Sure Rainbow could of learned something but that's what these Strange Adventure stories are for. They are one shots and me just typing like a crazy man on the computer. Deal with it. Thank you for your tolerance.


End file.
